Part of what Andy does in his spare time is deliver a high quality internet radio show to literally tens of listeners all over the civilised world. Every Wednesday evening from 10.30 till late, you can hear him too if you tune your radio into the internet. Go on - you know you want to.
My drum kit is seen here with a specially adapted bass drum dampening system. The teddy bear you see in the photograph is not mine, but was stolen from a disabled child.
Breeding occurs generally at 3-4 years of age. Swans carry out mutual displays prior to mating. Aggression toward strangers is characterized by a lowering of the neck, hissing and forward rushes...followed by a successful trumpet of triumph.
Andy Webster. A singer. An electrician. A gentleman. He plays cricket every single day of the year, nomatter what the weather. He is a black belt in karate or judo or something violent with an overtone of genteel civility. An all round good bloke, Andy was recently approached by Carol Vorderman to host her new antiques quiz-show The Golden Lot. He politely declined, but that's all in his past now, and he doesn't like to talk about it.
Paul DeVere. He plays the trumpet and flugel horn. His sister, Andrea plays the saxophone. He designs and builds most of the main structural and architectural projects currently in progress in the UK. His portfolio includes The Millennium Dome, the Houses of Parliament, the Tyne Bridge and Blyth Woolworths. The geometric pattern on his shirt playfully toys with concepts of symmetry, and he is seen here in confident mood, fresh from a planning meeting for the proposed Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Abbatoir and Meat processing Plant, to be located in Corbridge.
Long-necked and web-footed, swans are often thought of as ornamental birds that float serenely on ponds in zoos and botanical gardens. Seven species of swans exist: Whooper, Trumpeter, Tundra, Mute, Black-necked, Black and Coscoroba. (Many ornithologists maintain the Coscoroba and Black Swan are actually members of the duck family, even though they look like swans and are called swans.)
And here they are - the Wagon Wheels. Christine can be seen eating her 9th, washed down with a nice mug of chiller terps. Andy (far right) can be seen jsut having a quiet think about some of the things he might have thought and done that could be classified as thoughtless or inflammitary. Anita is eating an antibacterial urinal cake - and loving it!
We like to keep each other alert and excited during rehearsals, and one of the games we play is a favourite with Robbie. At any point in the evening we can shout out "Look at your hand!", and the last person to do so is 'piled on'. Here Robbie quickly averts his gaze to avoid another unpleasant crush under a writhing pile of musicians.
During our rehearsal of 'That's The Way I Like It', Paul was heard to play a note that lasted slightly too long. Whilst this sort of amateurish behaviour is tolerated by some bands - I'm thinking of Glenn Prattley and the Marmalade Experience - our standards are, and have always been much stricter. Here Andy, the leader of the band, gives Paul a final warning, and tells him that he must hand over Maureen, his hamster, for immediate execution.
Me, Anita, Christine, a Wagon Wheel and Mr Andy Curtis enjoying one of the evening's more energetic tea breaks. Objects shown smaller than actual size. Always read the label.
Selfless saintlike Andy Curtis is seen here scribbling dirty words on sheets of papaer, ready to insert into the church's numerous bibles, hymn books and prayerals. Andy's favourite filthword is smilmeriation, a medical term for the embrucation of a gentleman's fflarpate gland after the act of bristria.
Semi-domesticated in Europe for centuries, the Mute Swan is recognized as a symbol of grace in myth and legend and was the species Tchaikovsky chose to immortalize in the ballet Swan Lake.
Anthony George Brown. He plays bass. Look at his face. He's ace. We go to his place. He's addicted to mace. Part of the human race. Eats only wicker and lace. His hair's a disgrace.
Paul and Robbie - very much trumpet and guitar player. They are both men, and as such enjoy good natured rough and tumble, and outdoor pursuits involving poor weather and survival equipment. They can be seen most weekends killing wildlife in some of the North East's best Nature Reserves. Last year they wiped out 3 endangered spieces entirely. You guys!
The Tundra and Whooper nest across northern North America, in the Arctic Islands and in northern Russia. Black-necked and Coscoroba Swans are found from Brazil southward, while the Black Swan lives in Australia and New Zealand.
Paul, Robbie and Toni practice playing to the right (their left of course). This kind of directional training is extremely important with a small audience, who can dart about quickly to avoid being played at. They are usually no match for our fine musicians, who can change direction mid note, and have been known to demonstrate a range of over 90 degrees from centre within 1.8 seconds.
Andy, Christine and Anita, in many ways the singers of the band, during one of the breaks between Wagon Wheels. Fortunately these were relatively infrequent.
Robbie and Tony, shown here playing their guitars, The bass guitar played by Tony was bought from America by the internet. It took over 8 years to arrive, by which time the neck had grown a further 4 inches, making it deeper and lovelier than any other bass guitar yet manufactured, even if Tony has to tie two sets of strings together to fit it.
Trumpet player and structural engineer Paul DeVere finishes his latest symphony in a break between songs. Robbie the guitarist can be seen peeping over Paul's arm and smiling warmly as he thinks about chipboard - his only other interest apart from music.
Singer Andy Webster points at something to entertain Christine and Anita. The improvised music stand is one if this church's many ashtrays, some of which contain the sacred remains of saints and local dignitaries.
It's me - with my drums. This photo was taken by bass player Tony Brown, and he had clearly taken the boom arm of my cymbal stand as his reference for true vertical. How wrong could he have been, but good try Tony!
The Wooden Doll pub in North Shields - where we had a quick drink after the rehearsal. A nice place where they often have jazz ensembles playing, and you get a better class of pickled onion.