My best friend is called Henry the pig. I was in the swimming pool with him today and he did a dive into it, an amazing swan dive from three metres high. Oh how amazing it looked, even though the landing was terrible. You see I forgot to mention that it was only ankle deep, if that. Since he hurt him self I brought him to a place I heard my friend who couldn't pronounce s's at the start of sentences recommend called the laughter house. I brought the little chap there and he never came back. I guess he loved it so much he didn't want to go home. At least the kind man running it gave me a massive bag of bacon. And the moral of that story is elves are the devils best friend. Never trust an elf.
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