Golden Anniversary

On 3rd March 1956, at 11.30am, my mum and dad got married. They had known each other for only 4 months. Today is 50 years later, and they were together for a very special meal.

Dad's in a care home, being very well looked after by people who really love him, and understand his Altzheimer's. When I phoned them last week to say that mum and I would be coming in to see him on their Golden Wedding anniversary, my reason for informing them was that they might want to talk to him about it before the day so that he might be prepared for it, as much as he can be. Theycalled me back the next day and asked if it would be okay if they made them a cake, and would we like a little room to have a meal in - we'd be welcome to stay for lunch.

What happened today was quite overwhelming. They made my mum and dad feel really special, and not only gave the three of us a private dinig room, but the staff had gone to great lengths to make the occasion memorable. They'd decorated the room with ribbons and balloons. Set the table very nicely with flowers, candles, ribbons, a specially made cake, sparkling wine etc, and presented my mum with a bouquet when we got there.

Dad had chosen the meal, and he'd chosen fish and chips followed by rhubarb crumble and custard, which was served to us by the staff, and the small jukebox in the corner of the room played music from the 1950s. The staff left us to enjoy this very remarkable experience, and were the model of what care home staff should be. I am choked just thinking about it now.

Dad seemed quite frail today, but was obviously enjoying himself. He loves being with mum, and for me it was an opportunity to talk to her about their early relationship. How after getting married thay'd stayed in Blackpool for their honeymoon at the Norbreck Hydro Hotel. The first six months of their marriage was spent living at home with dad's mum and grandmother, before they moved out and lived with mum's family for a year and a half, before moving to North View in Newbiggin.

Mum chatted about some of the jobs they'd both had. Dad worked at the Poultry Farm in Newbiggin for a few years, before becoming a fireman, which was the job he did full time till he retired. When I was young, he also worked part time for Securicor, and at one time he was a student nurse, but I think that was before they got married. At the time they met, dad was a Time and Motion Supervisor at The Welwyn Electronics Factory near Bedlington - and I think mum worked there too.

Mum has worked behind the bar at the Sports Centre, she has run the youth club, and she was a dinner lady at Moorside School in the mid seventies. Then in 1980 she started working at Beaconhill Secure Home in Cramlington, and over the years did Social Worker qualifications, keeping this job until she too retired. At one point she even worked with Andy Curtis, who was a Night Supervisor or something like that.

Listening to her talk about their relationship, and some of the things from my childhood I'd forgotten, was a moving experience. It was so nice they shared this time together today. I still find it hard to come to terms with what's happening to dad, and would obviously prefer them to be together - but that's not how it is, and I'm aware that he's being incredibly well looked after.

It made me think about my own life, the universe and everything this afternoon. Sometimes I really don't fully understand why we're all here. As I drove through Newcastle later, watching everyone so busily going about their business, thousands of people all with their own agendas and timetables and relationships and aspirations - all of those different individual lives - what's it all about? Sometimes I have to admit to being baffled. Please tell me if you think you know.

Comments

[Rebecca]

Its being thankful that we have a chance to embrace the positivity of every moment that brings us joy and happiness, witness to others that experience it and viewing the negativity as just moments that keep us grounded.

Very moving and wonderful pictures.

Thanks for sharing.

[Ian]

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[Liz Marshall]

That's a very lovely sharing thing, Jason. So often we take our parents for granted, little realising how much they meant to each other and what their relationship was. You will treasure this window into their lives even more as time passes.

[AndyC]

...and here's me moaning on about dogs.

These are big emotions, mate, and rightly so.

The world is full of folks with smart ideas about how and why we should live our lives - I certainly wouldn't presume to add my voice to the melee.

Good thoughts to you.

[Jessica]

That's a hard question to answer. I could give you the answer of my faith...that we are here to learn the lessons we didn't learn in our past lives. Or that we are here to fulfill that which we were meant to do. But most of all I think we are here to touch as many lives as we can, and to be touched by the brush of as many lives ourselves as we can manage. Each connection, each interaction, forms a web...like the old ripple in the pond theory but with infinitely more range and impact, though more subtle. No matter a persons heritage, religion, beliefs or culture, the one thing that doesn't change is that interaction between people is the key to the path of life. Love, lust, affection, familial loyalty, animosity, hatred... without the interaction between people, the void would make the breath we draw pointless.........lol and all that is from a confirmed loner.

[Delightful]

What a beautiful entry Jason. I absolutely loved reading it, and looking at the pictures.