Once upon a time there was a small fluffy kitten. It was a white fluffy Persian that could fly. It's name was Cheese Plinth.
One day Cheese went on a walk out side in the park. He went into a park then was mugged by some weird people. They were singing the Lloyds TSB tune thing while stamping on his tiny chicken flavoured kitty glasses. He later found out who had sent them. It was Voldemort. About five minutes after that he found out they had actually been sent to stamp on Harrys glasses, so Voldemort and Cheese Plinth became friends, daily sending Lloyds TSB people to stamp on glasses.